Saying it wants to mend its relationship with the US and present a positive, happy face to the world, the Chinese Government has confirmed it will use only inflatable dancing balloons to spy on its enemies from now on.
“Things got a little ugly there for a minute didn’t they?” a spokesperson for the Chinese Communist Party said. “That’s not the type of image we want to project. Which is why from now on, we want to put a smile on your face when we steal your secrets and take photographs of your highly-classified military operations”.
He said it was impossible to look at a dancing inflatable dancing man and not have a bit of a chuckle. “They’re just so ridiculous aren’t they! Boing! Boing! Boing! Oh, whoops we just stole your new fighter-jet technology! Boing! Boing! Boing! Oh there’s your new military base! Boing! Boing Boing! LOL! They’re so adorable”.
Analysts say the new dancing-man spy balloons will be more effective, because once Americans see them dancing around in the air, they’ll become transfixed and totally forget to remove them.
Headline by Schmeichel Simmonds